#4 Let’s Not Fall in Love


“Let’s not fall in love,” he said.

His eyes, two irises as black as a coal, looking out to the distance. He seems so far away even though the space between us was only an arm reach, even less. It’s as if his soul is nestling somewhere else, as if he was somewhere else (so far away, I can’t even reach), as if… he wants to be anywhere else but here.

Wasn’t he always?

“We don’t know each other very well yet,” His voice was raspy. Like the sound you make when you step on a stack of dry leaves during autumn.

We don’t know each other very well, yet. Sure, I thought. I only know about how much sugar you like on your coffee (3 spoons, or was it 4?), how much you love reading your old comic books on weekend, how you always woke up at 5 and then continue to sleep until 6.30 before officially starting your day, how much you hated to shave, and how you would hug me so tightly (so long) when you’re sad.

“Actually I…” he took a long draw of oxygen into his lungs before continuing his words. “…was scared”

Aren’t we all?

He turns his head towards me. Even now, when he’s looking straight into my eyes, (or maybe he was just trying to) his eyes were always seemed so distant. It’s as if he’s not looking at me but something far beyond me.

It seems like you’re here, but not. Why?

“Let’s not make promises. We never know what tomorrow may bring,” he said. “Please, don’t ask anything to me. I can’t… ever give you an answer“

But, darling, you are the answer to all my unasked questions.

“We’re as happy as we are right now”

Unconsciously, my lips curved into a small smile. Are we?

He turns his head away, again. He’s ready to soar through the horizon, again. Ready to drift away from me, even further than he was before. Ready to not fall in love.

Then came a whisper from the gap between his lips. A whisper so soft, it almost feels like a morning breeze.

“Let’s not fall in love”

The wind flows, caressing my cheek ever so gently. I closed my eyes and imagine the place he was always looking for in the distance. I imagine myself there. I imagine us.

Then came another whisper. This time, it was from mine.



Now Listening: Bigbang – Let’s Not Fall in Love


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